Hiding
by I'm Retired
Summary: As little intimacies grow more frequent between Hei and Yin, Hei's feelings for the doll morph into confusion. They grow closer as certain feelings become clear, but despite their attempts, there seems to be no privacy anywhere on Amagiri's camp!
1. Chapter 1

Hours had passed since Hei had spoken with Amagiri, and yet their conversation couldn't be any more vivid in his mind. Hei didn't know for sure how many days they'd spent at Amagiri's camp, but he'd awoken earlier that day to the sight of Yin watching over him in his sleep. They had been on the run for almost a year now, and he's long since noticed that she was changing rapidly. Though he could tell that she was confused by all the strange and new emotions returning to her with seemingly no explanation -as was he- he was glad they were able to change together.

Somehow the anomalies that sprouted in them both had only managed to bring them closer. In all his life as a contractor, Hei could think of no one else he trusted and appreciated more than Yin. He had spent most of his life running from the emotions that he'd been taught to see as unnatural. Being with Yin, being able to let go of the myths and lies about who he was- it made him see how exhausted he was. It was he who wanted to help Yin; to show her how to grow- but at the same time, she managed to prove to him that there was strength in weakness. That he could rely on her, that partnership could be a means for survival -even for a contractor.

He and Yin were partners, and in time they had become friends.

That was all wasn't it?

Hei hated the fact the Amagiri's question still rested on his mind.

After Hei had awoken to Yin's embrace, Amagiri had interrupted them- wanting to speak to Hei; To study his intent. Though Hei almost found it hard to leave Yin's side, the need to keep her safe pulled him forward. Amagiri danced around the question for a moment, but in the end he had inquired, " _Just what is that doll to you?"_

Even now the memory burned through his mind. He tried to say something but the only thing he managed to utter was a stuttering gurgle of nothingness. He wanted to tell Amagiri that they were merely friends, -partners! But his mind shifted at the thought. He could no longer tell what 'partners' meant to him anymore. When he thought of Yin's lingering grasp on him that morning- a contact that he let remain for far longer than he normally would have- he had to wonder what the nature of their relationship had become. But in the end, he hadn't been able to answer. And that said enough.

Hei had little to nobody left in his life. He had lost all those he'd cared about, and was nearly out of reasons to keep going. Yin however, gave him purpose. With someone to protect, to chase away the loneliness that had been gnawing at him since Amber's "betrayal" and his sister's disappearance unbeknownst to him, he felt he could stick around a little while longer. But that wasn't all...

Hei had watched her develop into the person she now was- even before he had decided to run away together. He'd watched her struggle to find pleasure in the simple things, and at times he had seen her succeed. She confronted the sorrows of life -no matter how unpleasant- with all her heart. And though her doll's nature restricted her she handled her emotions far better than he had with his own. In a way, they had always supported each other.

He encouraged her with his understanding, and she inspired him by defying her very own nature, showing him that he could too.

But he couldn't love her! It was too impossible. And things were getting more complicated by the minute.

Hei sighed, remembering her odd mood swings and strange behavior. At times she'd say something odd and forget the entire conversation if he asked about it afterwards. It was like she was becoming someone entirely different. But, waking up to her- to the _real_ Yin, he was utterly relieved. Though it made him wonder if he 'appreciated' Yin a lot more than he'd like to admit.

Hei felt a gentle pressure at the base of his hand and looked down the spot the tentative touch of Yin. His gaze crawled up her body, stopping at her striking red-violet eyes. He stared into them, feeling calm and sucked-in at the same time. Yin looked back at him through her blindness and began to pull away, seeing as she had his attention. Hei moved with her in an attempt to maintain contact, but nearly laughed at his own desperation. He wondered how such a simple touch could hold his attention so completely.

"What is it Hei?" She asked, her soft voice monotone voice holding a tinge of concern.

"I was just thinking," Hei replied. Yin stared up at him for a moment longer and he realized that she expected him to continue. He turned away sharply, his cheeks heating up. He couldn't tell Yin that he'd been thinking of her! "It's nothing," Hei reassured, -himself more than her.

Yin absent-mindedly rested her head on his shoulder, sighing softly. Hei had never heard her make a sound so sweet, -so relaxed. As her soft presence leaned against him, he was forced to think of all the times they'd embraced. Of all the fleeting touches that now left him lost.

He remembered placing his hand on hers after waking her from a nightmare. He hadn't even thought about what he was doing before he had her cradled in his arms. When he'd held her after rescuing her from a kidnapping, her pull had been so strong then. He wanted to act on something… another desire that he couldn't place.

Hei's gaze drifted out the window where Yin's eyes stared out blindly. A strong hand grasped her shoulder as Hei's mind wandered back to the dangerous power Yin's touch had inspired within his emotions this morning.

He didn't know why he couldn't stop thinking about it- but there was just something utterly gratifying in her tender touch. -In the obvious relief that washed over her upon his waking. He hadn't realized until now that he liked being worried over; being loved. As much he fought it, Hei could no longer deny his desire to kiss her. It had been lingering with him for a while now, sealed up tight by his confusion and repression.

Hei squeezed Yin's shoulder subconsciously as regret washed over him. Why did he pull her away? Yin's gentle touch slid up Hei's chest and he gasped as the sensation pulled him from his thoughts. Her hand crawled up his neck and Hei saw a twinkle of desperation in her eyes. -Just enough to match his own.

He slid his arms around her back and let her touch him. He quickly discovered the boundless joys Yin held within her touch. As she ran her fingers over his lips he realized something. Maybe Yin didn't feel the exact same way he did, but she felt something so utterly close. Once again, while she was trying to reach him, he was discovering the obvious. Though he felt silly about it now, a smile spread across his lips as he concluded that things were going to be alright. He could let this happen…

He pulled her closer as she kissed him.


	2. Chapter 2

Hei sighed against her mouth as Yin slid her pianist fingers around the back of his neck and through his hair. Warmth grew in his chest, on his cheeks… he kissed her harder. His hand coiled around frame as he squeezed her, pulling her to him. He opened his mouth slightly as the sensations coursing through him caused the hair on his arms and on the back of his neck to prickle. Yin moaned softly as-

Bam! The door flung open with a sudden bang. The pair jumped as they swiftly ripped apart. Hei panted harshly, his face flushed, while Yin held a hand over her oddly racing heart. They both stared at the doorway, a slight panic overcoming them.

"Oh, am I interrupting something?" Claude laughed. Hei didn't find his little quip all that funny. He studied the purple streaks in the boy's blonde hair and the mischief in his eyes.

"I just thought I'd check up on you and your… _doll_." Claude continued, his voice lingering on the word 'doll' as he eyed Yin dangerously. Hei quickly grew irritated by his presence. "We are a community after all!"

"We're busy." Hei spoke through gritted teeth. Yin reached out and grasped his arm, but Hei felt too exposed by Claude's presence to respond.

"Hey now! Let's all just relax, okay? We're playing people now remember?" Claude teased, much to Hei's dismay. Had he caught them? Color returned to Hei's cheeks at the thought. Claude only smirked deeper; It was as if the very possibility for him to change were being mocked by someone who was practically a stranger. Yin's gentle touch pulled away from him as she clutched own her hands together. For a second he thought he saw a faint dusting of pink across her cheeks and he almost believed that she was embarrassed herself. -But he thought better of it. It was impossible.

"Let's go, Yin." Hei pushed past the smug contractor, grabbing Yin by the wrist as he trudged forward.

* * *

Hei sighed in frustration as he mentally cursed himself for reacting so rashly earlier. If he'd felt exposed by Claude's presence before then he was definitely without any sense of privacy now. Together, the pair sat outside where most of the other contractors roamed. Though Hei had succeeded in getting away, what he really wanted, was to be alone with Yin. He needed to get back to exploring her, whatever that now meant...

But the action felt wrong somehow, deplorable. How would he know just how okay she was with this? How could he be sure he wasn't merely projecting his feelings onto her? What _were_ his feelings? Earlier, the answer seemed to rest within her kiss but being caught by someone else made him unsure of himself. He couldn't stand the thought of being disoriented with no way to explain himself again.

Feeling a hand rest upon his thigh, Hei turned to Yin in surprise. She ran her thumb over his leg and Hei was taken aback by her caress. Could it be that she still wanted this after all? Maybe if they could be alone together...

Grabbing her hand, Hei laced his fingers between hers and stood, leading her a few feet into the wilderness behind them.

"Hei?" Yin questioned.

"It's okay, we're just..." Hei trailed off, not having any true reason behind his actions. He only muttered on without thinking as his mouth approached her neck. "...talking,"

His lips were already pressed firmly against her neck as he continued to convince himself of innocence. Yin cooed softly and Hei smiled slightly in relief. He softly pushed her against the tree as he devoured her neck further. His arms coiled around her and he made a tender fist in her hair. He was surprised to find her pressing herself into him. His hand lowered down past the curve of her waist, he jolted a little as he felt the skin that had been left exposed by her tank top. His thumb fingered with the space between her clothes as he sighed against her neck.

"Hei?" She questioned. With both arms around his neck, Yin quickly entangled her fingers in his hair and began to pull softly. Hei was stunned. Did she actually want to kiss him?

He faced her, his lips hovering just above hers. He gazed down at her lips longingly and bit his own. "Yin, I..." He tried to come closer but it was as if they were two magnets that didn't attract. Connected, but being repelled by some unnatural force.

Yin didn't care however, as her mind still blazed from earlier. She wanted to feel his touch, to relive whatever he had done to her before. Her heart thrummed in her chest and it was almost a if she could remember what it was like to be alive; What she had been once long ago.

Hei stood stiff as Yin kissed him, his surprise coming up as a soft rumble in his throat. He pushed against her, his need growing.

Yin accepted him hungrily as his wet kiss devoured her lips and eventually trailed down her throat. Warmth filled her chest and kissed her cheeks -though that _might've_ been another touch of Hei's lips, but none the less, she felt different beside him. For a moment longer, she could be strong once again.

Hei couldn't remember the last time he'd felt this light. It was like Yin drew something out of him, filtering out whatever made him so hard, cold. Within minutes of breathing in her essence he soon realized that it had been far too long since the last time he'd been intimate with another. He briefly wondered what about her had drawn him in. Was it the thought of facing the infinite with someone else? Someone who saw value in him and thought he was priority? Or maybe it was the fact that she was so committed to him, taking care of him in ways he's long since forgotten how. After all, it'd been so long since anyone put themselves on the line for him. It was almost hard to imagine that Yin would concern herself with him when at times, she could hardly think of her own well being.

Hei pushed deeper, his lips swallowing hers as he gave in to his silent urge to devour the girl. He pressed the length of his body against Yin's, his hand gripping her thigh as she curled her leg against his side.

He gave a long guttural moan as she softly bit his lip. A gesture that not only made him question where on earth she'd learned it from, but how he'd managed to go his entire life without tasting her lips up until now.

"Ahem," Hei's eyes popped open, though his lips remained firmly attached to Yin's as a fake cough sounded behind them.

He pulled away, hurrying to straighten himself. Hei briefly assessed the glassy eyed brunette before him. Though her cough had a harsh air of both frustration and embarrassment she still spoke in the same plain tones of an average contractor.

"We are growing very sensitive agriculture here so I'd like to ask that our guests not... explore this area." She swiftly explained.

"R-Right, sorry." Hei apologized, grabbing Yin's hand swiftly leading her away.

Was there no privacy on this godforsaken camp?


	3. Chapter 3

Hei let out a soft melancholy sigh as Yin trailed kisses down neck. The arms that had tightly encircled her slight frame moments earlier loosened, and he found himself biting his lip, suddenly unsure. He and Yin had been in this odd grey area between friendship and a romantic partnership for a few weeks now, but this wasn't the first time Hei's had doubts.

Neither of them had realized how starved they'd been for physical affection until they'd shared that first kiss. It'd been years since either of them had anyone they could wholeheartedly trust. Ever since Amber, every touch was laced with a possible lie, it didn't matter who you thought your allies were, anyone would jump to manipulate you if it meant they could get ahead. Emotional investment became a foreign concept to Hei, but without it- any touch, any kiss grew devoid of meaning. Yin was no better. Regarded as an object, a tool... no one would touch her. -Not with the intent to be affectionate. A shove toward the water, a harsh tug in the right direction, that was all she'd receive. But when they finally came together, it was hard for either of them to resist. It was as if nothing was real until this moment.

He should've been happy then, right? After all those years in the darkness, they'd finally come together. He'd created something akin to love with another person. But Hei still somehow found himself troubled. Despite the fact that Yin had finally gained his emotional trust, old fears remained latched to his soul like an undying parasite.

He couldn't count how many times he'd loved whole heartedly only to have things blow up in his face. At times, it'd been the fault of the underground workings of the Syndicate that had destroyed any meaningful relationship he'd hoped for. Other times however, it was because of his own inability to understand himself, -to connect with others, that had isolated him. Though he loved Yin, -and was admittedly good at reading her- there were many times when he didn't understand her. When she saw things in a way he simply couldn't perceive.

There was no one else who knew him like she did. She understood him completely, all that he was, all he wanted to be, sometimes she got him better than he did. But she was still a doll. A feeling one of course! -He was by all means aware that she was still just as human as any other despite this, but that didn't mean she doesn't need guidance, protection. He wanted to give all that for her, to find purpose in it. In fact, that was all he'd meant to provide her with initially. Falling for her though... it was far more than he'd bargained for. He'd no idea how to navigate a relationship with her. How did he know he wasn't compelling her somehow? Using what's left of her doll's nature against her, somehow inadvertently tricking her into loving him. The last thing he wanted was for her to snap out of it one day tell him she didn't want this anymore. He felt Yin softly bite down on his neck, sending chills running up and down his body. It felt both good and bad.

"Yin," Hei gently pushed away, her name was barely a breath past his lips.

Yin leaned back, sighing a bit.

"Hei," Yin cast her demure eyes away from him. "Is this about... the other day?" Yin asked, referring to his suggestion to part ways. Just thinking of it sent a muted shiver of fear down her spine. He thinks he has some negative affect on her, or that things will suddenly go downhill as soon she discovers more about herself, but Yin couldn't disagree more. She couldn't imagine where she be now if it weren't for him and is generosity. His compassion and love.

"I, well..." It wasn't exactly what he was thinking about, but he couldn't say it was ever far from his mind. "Haven't you at least thought about it?" His arms were are around her faster than he could stop himself. She molded into his warmth, clinging to him whilst dreading the incoming onslaught of self depreciation that she knew was about to pour from his mouth.

"I'm not perfect, Yin." He reaches down to brush a stray hair out of her face as he speaks. "I can't... protect you forever..."

Though he does well to mask his feelings, it's obvious to Yin that he's referring to protection from himself and a nature he considers poisonous. He's scared he'll ruin her somehow. That he'll wake up one day to find that he already has.

Yin leaned forward, cupping Hei's face in her hands. "I want to stay with Hei." She captured his lips in a slow kiss and he could hardly pull away. He surrendered for a moment, but he couldn't fight the gnawing at his core long enough to give in completely.

"I know it seems safe now, but-"

"Hei..."

"All that can change, and if I put you in any danger-" He wouldn't be able to bear it if she wanted to leave but he'd put her in a position where she couldn't make it on her own. This was a safe place for contractors and dolls alike. If she wanted, he could walk away from here... she'd never have to see his face again.

"It's more dangerous to be apart." Her thumb stroked his cheek, dragging against the corner of his mouth.

"You know that isn't true. The Syndicate can afford to lose you, it's me they're after." His voice lowered to a hushed tone. "I'm practically a magnet."

Yin saw through him easily. This had nothing to do with the Syndicate or any other outside danger.

"Hei!" It was hardly a yell, but the act of her even slightly raising her voice was such a rarity that it shocked Hei into silence.

"I don't want to be alone. I want to be with you." Her blind eyes bore into his and Hei saw a spark of emotion light up behind her usually glassy orbs. She kissed the corner of his mouth and he sighed weakly at the sensation. She draped her arms around his neck as she pressed her body into a tight hug.

"You've always been there, you.. let me be your partner." Her heart swelled at the memory, and a smile stood behind the stoic features of her face. She knew part of the reason Hei was so drawn to her was because she was the only person he had left. The last tie to his past. Was it so hard to believe that she felt the same? The snippets of her life as a true girl were so muddled and distant that it was barely apart of who she was anymore. In a way, the years she'd spent with the Syndicate had been the start of who she was now. And though she'd suffered, Hei was like a flickering light leading her away from the madness. After all they'd been through, everything they'd discovered, she didn't want to lose him now.

"Don't I still get to choose?" She looked up at him. "I want Hei to stay with me."

His arms automatically found their way around her back as he listened to her coquettish whispers tug at his ears. He pulled her closer, relief spreading through his chest. He knew she'd cared about him, but... could she _really_ want this? Despite his better judgement, he wanted to believe he'd underestimated her. He was sure she was struggling too, but she didn't care about their differences. Yin wasn't worried about who'd she be in the future, she believed she would love him then too. She believed in him and what they were building together. He wanted to feel the same. If he stayed... maybe one day he would.

He wanted to tell her this. He wanted to let her know that she made almost everything about him bearable. That she was one of the very few things that allowed him to hope in years. That his love for her grew stronger everyday, and though he offered to leave her constantly, he still couldn't bear the thought of being without her, selfish as it may be. That loving her, had been one of the biggest risks he'd ever taken, and though he was filled with doubt at times, he wouldn't change this for the world.

...He wanted to say all those things and more.

But instead he remained silent.

Though his feelings were strong, the words to describe them were only ideas. To say them out loud would only be confusing and strange.

So instead, he cupped her face in his hands and caressed her lips with his own. His embrace was soft at first, -a gentle shower of affection. But his touch grew heated as pressed further. His bated breath puffed against her mouth as her ran a palm across her gentle curves. His tongue explored her mouth for the first time and Yin let out a soft groan. She pressed her hand to his chest, inspecting his body as well. Pulling her closer, his kiss grew rough with an intensity that he hadn't even known lied dormant within him.

She kissed back eagerly, stealing his breath. He in breathed in quickly through his nose, inhaling her sweet watery scent and unintentionally intoxicating himself further. His heart pounded in his chest and shivers raced throughout him. He lost himself in the softness of her lips, unable to consolidate this feeling with anything else. He gulped knowing for certain now that he couldn't get enough of her.

His grip on her was tight as he nipped and sucked until the satisfying shivers of their passion finally passed.

He tucked his face into her neck, placing a soft kiss there. "I'll stay," He promised. "I won't leave you alone."

And she believed him.


End file.
